Upon recently learning that one of my longtime Canadian friends had lost his mother, after a lengthy illness, he shared this lovely story with me…

“Let me take some time to tell a cute story about her and the nursing home. It just happens to be the same facility that my grandmother died in 1979. Mum used to say she talked to her mother today and I always said “who is to say she didn’t”. Anyway, you may recall my mother was the Head Nurse of the Emergency Department at our hospital here in our town. She was a strong woman who bordered on bossy, a good trait considering the job.

Within the first 3-4 weeks of being in the nursing facility, she heard a call over the loud-speaker that there would be a nurses meeting in the board room at 1 o’clock. Sure enough, when the nurses and the Director went to the room, there was my mum sitting there. Now this is where the story, as related to me by the Head Nurse who had trained under my mother, gets interesting. Everyone knew my mum’s background. Our town was a small town (10,000) back in the day and everyone knew everyone. Rather than confront my mother and ask why she was there or tell her to leave, they simply gave her a legal piece of paper and a pen and continued on with the meeting. Upon conclusion, the Director adjourned the meeting and my mum stood up, rapped the table with her hand and said she thought these meetings were a good idea and walked out.

As a nurse and a care giver I know you can relate to this story better than most. I told this during my mother’s funeral and must admit I got a little emotional doing so. I did write a note to the Director thanking her and her team for the compassion.”

As a former nurse and etiquette expert, who does a lot of training in the medical arena, this story points up the importance of being able to step outside of the box and adapt the rules to fit the situation in any arena, but especially in health care. The last word from my friend says it all…”compassion”. It is so key in being a care giver, regardless of your position on the team. That young Nursing Director may not realize the impact that  her small gesture of respect toward her former teacher meant to the patient’s family, but it was powerful. Obviously, my friend’s mother was a wonderful teacher and care giver…that will live on in the nurses she trained and will become part of her legacy. RIP Anne.

*This story is shared with the permission of my friend.

Friendship

You know the feeling – you’re feeling a little down, the phone rings, and you hear the caring voice of a dear friend. Smiles all around.

That’s the relationship between Professional Courtesy and The Protocol School of Ottawa. Well, that’s how it started; Professional Courtesy and The Protocol School of Ottawa. Now it’s a valued friendship between Karen and Suzanne.

Over the years we’ve consulted each other over etiquette issues, traded notes, collaborated on seminar material, proofed each other’s work, and listened. It’s the listening that took a mutual professional respect to the rare and enviable place of true friendship.

Like most friendships, we’ve laughed, cried, and surprised each other during conversations. We’ve had lunch together and prepared dinner together. We e-mail, Skype, phone, send surprise packages, and exchange book and movie lists. We know each other’s families. We know each other’s strengths.  We know each other’s weaknesses.

We have great fun compiling lists of differences since Karen is American and I’m Canadian. I can hear Karen smiling at my oot and aboot accent. I suppress a giggle at her roof and mauve pronunciations. She probably thought I couldn’t spell during our first few email exchanges. I put a u in a lot of words (honour/honor, neighbour/neighbor). Here’s a sampling of our fun differences list:

Karen                                                                                        Suzanne                      

°F                                                                                                            °C

sofa                                                                             chesterfield/couch

zee                                                                              zed

“What are you talking about?”                                    milk in bags

miles                                                                            kilometers

dollar                                                                           loonie

President                                                                     Prime Minister

movie stars                                                                 royalty

center                                                                          centre

check                                                                          cheque

4 downs (football)                                                       3 downs

zip code                                                                       postal code

We always look forward to our next communication, whatever form it may take.

We value and respect each other’s opinions.

We cherish our cross-border friendship.

We hope to meet one day.

By: Jorie Scholnik

Every semester when I teach Life and Career Development at Santa Fe College, I always make sure to devote at least two class meetings to social networking. One lesson revolves around using Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn for networking and enhancing the job search process. The other lesson covers professional tips like being aware of privacy settings and social networking tips for your first six months at a job. I always start off this lesson by asking, “Can anyone give me famous examples of someone being reprimanded or fired because of something he/she did or said on a social networking site?” Someone inevitably shouts out, “Anthony Weiner!” followed by some giggles and snickers. My students can generally provide me with several more celebrity cases with little thought.

What usually happens next is that one student will be brave enough to disclose that he or she was actually the one fired because of a Facebook status update, tweet or racy photo. Once the first person shares their personal experience, others quickly join in. I’ve listened to students talk about getting terminated because they wrote that their special training was pointless, they posted a picture of them drinking underage, they lied about why they couldn’t come to work, etc.

Ladies and gentlemen, getting fired because of social networking blunders is happening and here to stay! Therefore, I recommend these five social networking tips for new hires, and really for anyone who would like to keep their job:

1. Don’t initiate sending a friend request to your boss. It may make your boss uncomfortable and it may signal that you aren’t conscious of your boundaries.
2. It is okay to decline a friend request from a boss or co-worker. Send a personal message to acknowledge the request and state that you are happy that he/she wants to connect via social networking, but you only use Facebook for your closest friends and family members. Instead, consider offering to go to lunch during the work day to catch up.
3. Negative comments won’t get you anywhere. If you are bored at work, hate your boss or don’t agree with the latest policy changes, don’t even consider posting it. Use the appropriate means of providing constructive feedback at your office instead.
4. If you are angry, wait at least 24 hours before posting a status update or tweet. Once you’ve had time to digest why you are angry, you will state your thoughts in a more professional manner and realize that social networking may not be the best avenue to express yourself in the situation.
5. Verbalize how you are using Facebook and Twitter for professional purposes while at work. This will prevent your boss from thinking that you are just using the sites for fun, wasting time or not taking initiative.

Jorie Scholnik has been employed as an associate at The Protocol School of Palm Beach, Inc. under Jacqueline Whitmore for the past five years where she writes guest blog posts on www.jacquelinewhitmore.com and works with university students on polishing their business etiquette skills. Jorie Scholnik is also currently working as an assistant professor within Student Development Instruction at Santa Fe College. Prior to working at Santa Fe College, Jorie Scholnik worked as a career counselor and Job Search Strategies instructor at the University of Florida’s Career Resource Center. Jorie Scholnik earned a master’s degree in marriage and family counseling and a specialist degree in education from the University of Florida in May 2010. Her Facebook page is strictly for close friends and family, but you can follow her on Twitter @JorieScholnik.

Thank you Jorie, for taking the time to share your expert opinion regarding social media. I do appreciate your generosity.

My post on contemporary nurse’s uniforms had some things deleted when I “published” it. Not sure what happened, but will review and rewrite the article and post it again.

1. Assess the table, pause before picking up any silver. Wait for your host or hostess to start
or senior person at the table.

2. Put napkin on lap to
unfold. When leaving the table temporarily, place the napkin on the chair.
At the end of the meal, place napkin to the left of plate.

3. When encountering a
multi-course meal with multiple pieces of flat ware and you are
questioning what fork to use first, start from the outside and work in
toward the plate.

4. Cut one bite at a time.

5. Solids are on the left
of your dinner plate, such as, bread and butter plate and liquids are on
the right.

6. Break bread in bite
size pieces and butter one bite at a time over the bread and butter plate.

7. Your food will be
served from the left and cleared from the right. Liquids are served from
the right.

8. We pass food to the
right because the guest of honor sits to the right of the host. If you
start the food, offer it to the person on your right and then take your
portion before sending it around the table counterclockwise.

9. When someone asks for
the salt, pass both the salt and pepper in anticipation of their need. It
also keeps the pair together. Do not pass hand to hand because in some
cultures it is considered bad luck. Place the pair in front of the receiver.

10. Keep personal items
such as; purses, glasses, cell telephones, etc. off the table. Purses
should stay on your lap or under the chair.

 11. Refrain from putting on make-up, combing
hair, picking teeth, blowing nose vigorously at the table. “If you do it
the bathroom, don’t do it at the table.”

12.If someone offers a
toast to you do not drink to yourself.

13. When offering a toast,
remember the three B’s; be
prepared, be brief, be seated.

14. If in doubt about what
to do, watch someone at the table who knows. It can prevent an
embarrassing situation.

15. When leaving the table
temporarily do not announce where you are going; just say, “Excuse me.”

16. Chew with your mouth
closed. Take small bites to avoid talking with food in your mouth.

17. Try a little of
everything presented unless you are allergic to a certain food.

18. Don’t talk about food
likes and dislikes at the table.

19. Maintain good posture
at the table. Keep arms and elbows off the table.

20. Don’t push your plate
away from you when finished eating, wait for everyone to finish before
plates are cleared.

21. Don’t gesture with your
knife and fork.

22. Eating in the American
or Continental fashion is
acceptable in America
today.

“Nothing indicates a
well-bred man more than a proper mode of eating his dinner. A man may pass
muster by dressing well, and may sustain himself tolerably in conversation; but
if he is not perfectly au fait, (up
to date), dinner will betray him.”—— “AGOGOS”, 1834

Reproduction of this material is prohibited without
prior authorization from Professional Courtesy, LLC.

If you teach dining etiquette these photos may be just what you need to enhance your presentations.                                                                              

Professional full color photos for your dining tutorials can be yours on a c.d. for $59.00 including shipping and handling. (The file is large and difficult to send electronically.)

There are 43 full color images done by a professional photographer for the book, “Dishing Up Smiles” that was published by the Alliance of the American Dental Association.

I contributed dining etiquette for 18 sections in the book. Each section for 18 sections in the book. Each section contained photos relative to the section topic. There are multiple shots of the settings so the best shot can be chosen for your presentations.

These are great to insert into Power Point Presentations, handouts, workbooks or any other dining tutorial. They show American and Continental styles of eating, formal place settings, eating soup, finger bowl use and more…

If you are interested, email me @ karen.hickman@professionalcourtesyllc.com and I will invoice you via paypal.

]]> https://karenhickman.wordpress.com/2011/11/16/dining-tutorial-photos/feed/ 0 karenhickman Place Setting for a 7 course meal https://karenhickman.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/a-give-away-for-chocolate-lovers/ https://karenhickman.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/a-give-away-for-chocolate-lovers/#comments Thu, 10 Nov 2011 17:21:19 +0000 karenhickman http://karenhickman.wordpress.com/?p=271 ]]> If you love chocolate, and who doesn’t? Here is your chance to win a gift package of the most delicious hot fudge in the world. My life time friend, Wayne Shive, has been a gourmet cook for years and developed the recipes for these hot fudge sauces. He is the founder and owner of Best Boy & Co., that distributes this yummy treat, along with other food products. The gift set includes: the Original, Mocha, Chili and the new flavor, Balsamic, which is quickly becoming the favorite.

• All you have to do to have a chance at winning is to post your unique recipe ideas for using these fabulous sauces. Or…
•  Leave a comment
• Subscribe to this blog
• Comment on Facebook
• Post on your blog
• Tweet or RT about this contest

The contest starts today, November 10, 2011 and will end on November 17, 2011. The gift set will be sent directly to the winner from Best Boy & Co.

To learn more about Best Boy and Co.and all of the wonderful food products they offer go to their website www.bestboyandco.com All of their food items make wonderful gifts.

You will also note that their profits go to charitable organizations around the world.

By the way, I have served the sauces over multiple flavors of ice cream, on profiteroles, and as a dip for my short bread cookies. It is also great on a spoon right out of the jar!

Note: shipping is restricted to the U.S. and Canada

Contest ended on Friday, November 18, 2011

Her book is in book stores now and on Amazon.com

http://amzn.to/nNtJHj

Join Joe Wolfcale, Emily Bermes and myself for another great seminar for leaders in our multi generational work place. It is October 28 at the Ft. Wayne Country Club. For registration and info contact Karen Hickman @ karen.hickman@comcast.net

Many people think “dining etiquette” is all about the fork, but in truth, it is way beyond the fork. Here is a list of some dining etiquette skills and what message they send if you ignore them:

• Wait until everyone is seated  before picking up your napkin and placing it on your lap. The host should pick up their napkin first to signify the start of the meal.  (This step shows that you are aware and considerate of everyone at the table.)
• Don’t start eating until everyone is served. (Launching into your meal before others are served is rude and can be perceived as “self-centered”)
• Taste your food before adding salt & pepper. (Reaching for the salt and pepper shaker before tasting can suggest to some that you make hasty decisions.)
• Eating in the Continental style or American style is acceptable in the U.S. today. (The American culture is the only culture that uses the “American” style or the “zig zag” style of eating. Therefore, Americans can be picked out in a crowd just by the way they eat.)
• Be polite to the wait staff. ( Being rude to the wait staff or people who are in service positions can be an indicator of your true character. Courtesy should be extended to all people.)
• Don’t talk about your food likes and dislikes at the table. Try tasting everything on your plate unless you are allergic to it. (Saying “yuck” when served a certain food item is very offensive to the host and can suggest a lack of flexibility in trying new things in any arena.)
• Avoid taking cell phone calls and checking messages at the table. Put your phone on silent mode. (Being glued to your phone during a meal says the people you are with are not as important as your messages.)
• Pace your eating, whether you are fast or slow, so everyone at the table finishes at the same time. ( Racing through your meal and having your plate cleared while others are still eating can put undue pressure on slow eaters to finish. Being too slow with your eating can be annoying and hold up each course being served.)
• Don’t order the most expensive item on the menu unless your host encourages it. Choose something somewhere in the middle. (Ordering market price lobster or something equally expensive can be viewed as taking advantage when someone else is picking up the tab.)
• Monitor your alcohol intake. (Overindulging can lead to unprofessional behavior and suggest a lack of self-control.)
• Don’t drink to yourself if someone offers a toast to you. (Drinking to yourself is tantamount to patting yourself on the back.)

Many companies do interviews over a meal to see how prospective employees handle themselves in social situations. Your lack of good table manners can be a real liability. If you are not comfortable in fine dining situations then you might consider brushing up on your dining skills.